


Witch's defence

by maggieblues



Series: horror rpg games [3]
Category: The Witch's House
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, a little redemption arc, but in her own way, ellen apologising
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27438841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggieblues/pseuds/maggieblues
Summary: The thing that angers me the most in this situation is that I know you will still forgive me. You shouldn't. You should hate me. Only if you hate me, I can forgive myself.with love,Ellen
Relationships: Ellen/Viola (The Witch's House)
Series: horror rpg games [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004622
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	Witch's defence

My beloved Viola,

I wish I could have stolen your body from the beginning. Then it wouldn’t hurt so much. But, no, consent was needed. I must confess, I have always considered your body mine. The moment you walked into the mansion, it WAS mine. The body of a fly in a spider's web rightfully belongs to the spider. You gave it to me when you decided to walk into that web. 

Unfortunately, I gradually got to like you, your selflessness, your pure soul, your loving, kind interior. I loved how you were so gullible. I loved you like a tiger who loves his gazelle. Like the eagle loves his prey.

But I know why you have chosen to be so altruistic. Because you haven't known pain. You haven't known what is it like to suffer, wanting death, asking for it. It is easy to be noble when you have no idea of the consequences. Now you do, all thanks to me. Unfortunately, this little teaching won't last for long, right, Viola? Right, my "friend"?

Trust me, my “friend”, for a naive little girl like you if I didn't use you, someone else would. You should have seen that coming.

I know you loved me. It was everything in the way you looked at me, touched me. When I was little I thought this is all I could have ever wanted. Love, magical fix for everything. But guess what? Love couldn't fix my pain. But sacrifice would suffice. Yes, I have sacrificed you, not betrayed you. You were all I had, and yet I have chosen your body over you. Your love was never enough for me to feel good, but again, your sacrifice will.

Argh… I know it’s a lie. You would not. You would have never.

You showed me what love is. My parents didn't love, cause my sickness has made me a disgrace to our family, despicable. All they cared about was appearances. I fixed that like no love ever could. If there were no parents, they couldn't hurt me anymore. It was all self-defense. I have offered a pact with a demon, offering my parents to him. He did not hesitate.

And about the Black Cat… Do you know what he really is? The demon. Yeah, it pretty much explains why he didn't want to sit on your lap. He wanted me to get him a new toy. Soul, I mean. You. I agreed. 

You fell in love with the illusion. I played the role of the perfect friend, always in smiles, always fun, always yours. Although I felt like dying. Real Ellen is neither kind nor loving. Just a survivor, trying to escape from the hell her body was. 

I am glad I got rid of you. You were dangerous, your love was a hazard to be dealt with immediately. Because I might have returned it. Even laughing together was so precious, even though it hurt my stomach and I felt like I wanted to puke. 

You knew swapping bodies was dangerous. I told you, I told you were too trusting! I did warn you about the world's nature, but all I thought about is how I am as cruel as the world then. But you never listened. You never listened. And then you laughed so chastely and wanted to prove me wrong. You proposed that yourself: only for a day. I thought the fly is coming to a spider and begs to be eaten! How peculiar! Spider warned the little fly, told her not to. But the fly was throwing herself into the web.

It is you, me, us, you said so eagerly. 

The irony of it all is when I will think about you or miss you. I will. You don't believe me? You can, of course in this situation. But the one I will mourn isn't you. I will mourn losing my share of love. A tool to make me feel better. But it will be so worth it. I would give away all love in the world for just one day of living without the pain. 

When you were exploring the world and making friends, I couldn't even get out of my bed. I was destined to die a horrible death. I never chose to live to riot in this horrible, sick body. If you were in place if you suffered as much as I did... You would have done the same! Every single soul would.

I gave you medicine. Throat-burning medicine. I lied it would stop the pain. When you reached for it, you thought it was mercy. But I didn't even think of it. I just wanted to screams to stop. For my screams to stop. I have just realized what I had done. But I didn't want to end you. 

But I couldn’t give you your real body either. You gave it to me in the first place. Why should I give it back?

The thing that angers me the most in this situation is that I know you will still forgive me. You shouldn't. You should hate me. Only if you hate me, I can forgive myself.

with love,  
Yours, Ellen

**Author's Note:**

> lots of love to anyone, who catches “The Haunting of Bly Manor” references :3
> 
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated! :3


End file.
